Hellalulia – Canadian Government provides Caregiver Relief!

Have you ever given it much thought as to the cost of looking after a dependent adult?  Think about this for a moment….

Let’s use the scenario that it has been decided that your aging parent is going to come and live with your family.  The following are some items that can easily eat away at your bank account which can often get shrugged off  from the Caregiver or other family members.

1. Non-prescription medication (i.e. Asperin/ Cold medicine)
2. Gas expense to transport the dependent person to appointments or visits
3. Loss of income when the Caregiver has to take days off work to care for the individual
4. Increased Grocery Expense
5. Increased Utility Expense

I’m sure there are many of you who could add a few things to this list.  The point I’m trying to make here is that all of these can add up to a big monthly expense.

I have had Mediations in which other family members (Usually the adult children) complain that the Caregiver (usually a Sibling) is “nickle and Diming” their parent  when asking for these out-of-pocket expenses.  This can  cause a lot of conflict amongst the family especially when the Caregiver or the other family members are not in a financial position to absorb these extra costs.

Our Canadian Government has finally recognized that Caregivers need some financial relief to help them look after those people who are dependent on them by reason or mental or physical infirmity.

The Family Caregiver Tax Credit received Royal Assent (became law) and Caregivers will now receive a tax credit of $2,000 per dependent.  The $2,000 will also be indexed for inflation starting in 2013.

Great news for Caregivers and for those who rely on them.

For more information on the Family Caregiver Tax Credit here is the link

http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/gncy/bdgt/2011/qa02-eng.html

It takes a Village to keep a family from exhaustion

Many times the responsibility of looking after a senior member within a  family falls on that senior’s spouse/partner or the child who happens to live the closest.

If that seems to work ok for everyone involved then that is fantastic! Chances are though that the arrangement seems to work for all the other family members who don’t deal with the day-to-day issues.  It’s like how the old saying goes “Out of Sight – Out of Mind”.

I may sound harsh but time and time again I hear people talk about how exhausted they are as they help a senior member manage their daily activities, run errands, pick up medications, take them to appointments,  fix meals… The list goes on and on and it really does not appear to ever get shorter.

It is understandable if a family member does not live close that they can not attend to their daily needs.  However, there are things that families can do to help the main care giver such as;

• Call the senior daily or every other day to check in and say hello.
• See if other family members, friends and close neighbours can work out a rotation visiting schedule to give the main care giver a reprieve a few hours each day or week.
• Discuss what can be done electronically to save time/money such as setting up automatic pill payments & automatic deposits.  Many seniors don’t feel comfortable with computers and can’t do this themselves however with proper security in place, a trusted family member could do all this with or for the senior.
• Arrange to take the senior to a community centre so they can socialize with their friends.
• Check regularly and see what programs/services are available in the community that may be new.

Don’t leave all these activities to one or two people in the family to handle.  Share the “To Do” List and take an active part in helping your senior relative and the main care giver.

There are literally hundreds of senior services around – and yes, there is usually a cost associated with service.  However families need to evaluate the cost of services against the cost of exhaustion and frustration.

I put this challenge out to any family member who does not take a very active role in looking after a senior – Take one full week of your holidays and spend it with an aging senior member.  Day in and Day out – 24/7 and see how you feel at the end of the week.  Perhaps you will then see that it does take a village to keep a family happy and ensure that the main care givers are not close to exhaustion and you are part of that village.

What the heck does an Executor do?

I was conducting an Elder Mediation a while back where an issue came up with respect to choosing an Executor to handle the parent’s estate.  It was interesting to watch the dynamics as family members discussed why someone should or should not be the Executor.  The parents for instance initially thought that their oldest child should be the Executor because it was the “role” they felt the oldest should perform simply by default – She was the oldest of four children.

As the discussion moved along I realized that there was a vagueness of understanding from some family members as to the role and responsibilities of an Executor so I went on to explain what some of these responsibilities were.   I then asked my friend Gregg Medwid  who is the President of Executor Support to provide me with information which I can pass onto my clients.  And in his true professional manner – Gregg sent me an email with an excellent explanation along with a fabulous checklist which I want to pass onto you.

What is an executor?

An executor is someone who  carries out your final wishes, as described in your will.  This is a very  responsible role, and usually requires a considerable amount of time.  The  executor, who may also be one of the beneficiaries, will take ownership  and  possession of the assets, arrange for payment of any debts, and distribute the  proceeds of the estate to the beneficiaries.  The executor is, in effect,  taking on the same rights and responsibilities of the deceased.

The executor starts  by arranging the funeral and then begins to settle the estate.  S/he needs  to inform all parties of the death, including government agencies, banks,  pension offices and employers, and then all of the assets and liabilities need  to be identified, including their values on the date of death.  Some  assets may need to be appraised.  A complete inventory should be prepared,  and any valuable assets protected (eg. house, art).  All accounts  (including online accounts), subscriptions and memberships need to be  cancelled.  Many estates require the will to be probated, so the executor  will arrange to have the documents filed in court and will pay the necessary  fees.  A source of funds may need to be arranged in order to pay for probate and a variety of other expenses.  Detailed bookkeeping records  usually need to be maintained, and these  accounts need to be passed by the beneficiaries.
At least one income tax return must be filed, possibly more, including an  estate income tax return, and any income tax owing must be paid.  Insurance claims may need to be filed, as well as claims for government  benefits (eg. CPP Death Benefit).

Although the  executor is responsible for arranging payment of debts, s/he is not responsible  for the debts themselves.  If there are insufficient funds in the estate  to pay all outstanding debts then the estate is considered to be insolvent.

Throughout the  entire process there should be frequent communication with the family and other  beneficiaries in order to keep everyone well-informed and avoid any  disputes.  This point cannot be over-emphasized, especially in those  families where there is very little communication or where animosity exists.

It’s OK to ask for help.  The executor is entitled to receive whatever assistance they may  need, such as a lawyer, accountant, notary public or consultant, and these fees are typically paid out of the proceeds of the estate.  The executor is  also entitled to receive a fee for their service, up to approximately 5% of the  value of the estate.

In the event that  someone dies without a will (ie. intestate), rather than there being an  executor, someone must offer to be the administrator.  The rights and  responsibilities of an administrator are similar to those of an executor.

Executor Checklist

With the information Gregg has provided, you and your parents can have a useful discussion regarding who best to be the Executor of your parent’s estate?  As it turned out, the family  I mentioned at the beginning of this article made some different decisions based on factors such as their adult children’s careers, capabilities and family responsibilities.   The mediation resulted in the family making an informed decision with a complete understanding and agreement of why those decisions were made.

“Executor Support does not provide legal advice. The information provided herein is intended as general information only, not as legal advice, and readers are encouraged to seek their own legal counsel.  Executor Support does not prepare or submit applications for Letters Probate or Letters of Administration.”

Who are financially abusing our Seniors?

I recently received a call from a family in distress.  The senior couple is desperately trying to help their son who has a series of mental and physical health issues but there is one catch… the son has learned that by threatening, yelling or pleading for money is quite effective in getting what he wants and before he drains their savings account, the family has reached out to try to get some help.

Unfortunately, their story is not unique.  I have seen three cases of senior financial abuse in the past month! Financial abuse against seniors has become a huge concern in North America and the predators are usually a family member, friend or trusted neighbour.  Yes, I call them predators because every one of these people have learned how to manipulate the seniors and found where they are most vulnerable.

But why would a family member or friend do this to someone who trusts them?

1. Many feel that they are owed something for the assistance they are providing them
2. They say it is due to them if another family member was given some financial assistance
3. Drug/Alcohol addiction – they need to feed their habit
4. Build up of anger or hurt from long ago – it is a way to “get back” at their parent

Seniors need to be protected but many are too scared to say anything to anyone because they rely on the person who is abusing them as a care provider.  Another threat that is commonly used is that the care provider will abandon the senior and leave them isolated and alone.

What can be done?

If the senior has expressed concerns and/or if someone in the family has concerns that this may be happening they have a few options;

• Report it to the police
• Report to the Public Guardian and Trustee who will investigate
• See if there is a way in which Elder Mediation can deal with the issues and concerns with all the family members and the senior

Elder Mediation can assist the families in providing information on what kind of tools can be put into place to ensure a caregiver is being financial responsible.  The new  Guardianship Act effect September 1st 2011  has tightened up the guidelines in a Representation Agreement in order to ensure Representatives are more accountable in handling a persons finances.  Another layer of safety in a Representation Agreement is to appoint a Monitor who has the ability to request an accounting of records from the Representative.

It is important that the senior and families are educated on Senior Abuse (Financial, Physical and Emotional) and help them make decisions that are going to ensure the Senior is in a secure, healthy and safe environment.

Unfortunately it is not the “snake oil” salesperson, telephone & internet scams we just need to watch out for in protecting seniors – many times they need protection from their own family.

Sad but True

What do Canadian Caregivers look like?

What does a Canadian Caregiver look like?  Are they young, old, men, women, friend, family?  Well the statistics have been gathered and the single most important message in this blog… You and your family better have a plan in place on how you want to receive care as you age because one thing is for sure – you’re family members will be involved in caring for your needs and to what extent will be determined by you. 

The fact is that most care-givers are assigned by default and usually occurs when a crises happens (mom breaks her hip) or upon the eventual decline of a parent’s ability to care for themselves as they age.  The default consists of a) You live closest to your parent(s) than the other family members and/or  b) you happen to be female.

The following are some demographics of Care-giving in Canada;

• 61% are women
• 17% care for a friend or neighbour
• 83% care for relatives
• 59% of caregivers work full or part-time
• 90% of  care giving is informal – meaning that the person does not receive pay
• 6% of those over the age of 75 are providing care
• 20% of Canadians over the age of 45 provide care to a senior

The greatest effect on overall stress for the Care-giver is;

1. Level of care
2. Whether they had a choice in the decision to become a caregiver
3. Caregiver’s own health
4. Most stressful aspects for caregivers are incontinence, bathing and dementia
5. Alzheimer caregivers have three times more stress symptoms

Deciding on who will be the main caregiver in a family should not be made by default!

Supporting the main caregiver is just as important as caring for the senior.  If the main caregiver gets burned out because they do not have regular and consistent help then they are of no use to the senior and in fact it can put both the senior and the main caregiver in danger of declining health and/or elder abuse resulting from stress.

Then there is the broad discussion of caregivers roles and responsibilities – that will be for another time.

I can not stress enough how important it is to have this discussion with not only your parents but also your children. If you are in your 50’s or 60’s then it is not too early to start evaluating the cost associated with being cared for and how these costs will be funded.  There are a lot of out-of-pocket costs that caregivers incur and if/how they are to be reimbursed opens up another can of family worms. 

Plan now, have a back up plan and be prepared  This is the key to successful caregiving.

Private Care Agreements

For many seniors and their families, they are property rich but cash flow poor meaning that the only significant money they have is tied up in their principle residence.

How do they pay for care when they don’t have the cash flow?  For many seniors they have chosen a route called a Private Care Agreement.  In return for a relative or friend caring  for them as they grow older, the senior transfer the title of the property to the care provider.

This allows the senior to remain in their home for as long as possible and the caregiver is compensated in the end. However, this arrangement is frought with legal, moral and ethical challenges.

In Margaret Isabel Hall’s paper “The Care Agreement: Attractions and Pitfalls”  published in the Elder Law Review Vol2 (2003)  She lists a series of questions that need to be answered in creating a Care Agreement such as;

• What if the caregiver pre-deceases the senior?
• What if the caregiver becomes ill, or otherwise develops problems that prevent him or her from looking after the senior properly?
• What is the effect if a senior enters a care facility?
• Who makes the decision about when the caregiver can no longer provide adequate care, and admission to a facility becomes necessary?  Will this be a subjective decision to be made by the caregiver or the senior, or an objective decision to be made by a doctor?
• Does the promise to provide care include nursing type services or is it limited to the provision of food and lodging?

Most private care agreements are made informally which lends itself to unclear guidelines, miscommunication and legal interpretation.   Most care agreements fail because of relationship breakdowns due to the emotional aspect of the senior” giving up their home” and the caregiver “taking control”.  Just think about it…..

You have been living in your home for the past 30 years and now there is a person making decisions for you and your home while your still in it.  It may be very difficult for the senior to treat his or her ‘own’ home as really belonging to someone else and become resentful of the caregiver – after all, the senior is giving up control of their home and themselves.

If a Private Care Agreement looks as thought it may be a good option to explore then it is imperrative that a very clear, concise agreement be drafted to include items such as;

1. List the type of care provided
2. # of times per week it is provided
3. Back up arrangement should the care provider become ill
4. Who & How will it be determined that a transition to an institutional care facility should occur
5. How will the “value” of the caregiver be determined
6. How will this agreement affect other family  members and has this been adressed

Setting up a Private Care Agreement means that you have entered into a contract with another individual.  It has  been suggested that a probationary period and a termination clause be included to take effect on specified events.  The termination clause protects the resident should the specified agreements or relationship  deteriorates without the necessity of suing to rescind the contract.

Private Care Agreements can work as long as the parties do their due diligence in discussing as many of the “what if’s” scenarios as they possibly can, put the agreement in writing with clear direction for all parties to follow and seek legal advice prior to formalizing the agreement.   As an Elder Mediator, my role is to assist the parties in addressing the “what if’s” and help formulate the plan while providing information during it’s development.

Seniors are people too

Ageism: Defined as Prejudices and Stereotypes that are applied to persons based solely on their age.   Words and thoughts such as  “Crotchety Old Man”  or “Forgetful  Bitty” are examples of ageism.  

When you think of a Senior what is the first image that comes to your mind? Old, Wrinkles, Hunched Over…  Just because we physically change as we age does not mean we don’t have opinions and ideas. The truth about seniors is that they can share a wealth of insight and wisdom BECAUSE of their age.  

Yes, it may take seniors more time to form thoughts and opinions – this should not however negate the importance of what they have to say.  It does mean that as friends, families, acquaintances, colleagues we need to be mindful of the speed in which they are speaking and to allow time for a senior to respond.  Also…. DON’T respond for them – we need to be patient and with that gesture alone, we validate a seniors worth as an individual.

After all – isn’t that what every one of us want and expect from other people?